Infatuation, real?

Blessed with the joy of hope
When new heart feels all that is to come
Elated promise without constraint
Love you more than anyone

It’s an empty vacuous high
Like dreaming on the furthest star
This time substance might be there too
There’s a chance, this is right

Can’t put my hand on it
Can’t grasp why I feel what I feel
I’ve no basis to be in this emotive state
But this infatuation might be real

Leavers Remorse

Going through the motions
Looking like I’m really here
In my head I’m away with you
A last dance filled with fear
That I will always be alone
Just me, no partner, no sound
I miss you terribly; it’s pain
I fear never having anyone around
What if I got it wrong
What if my sights are set too high
What if I shouldn’t have ended it
Shouldn’t have reacted the other night
We’d be happy now, with hope
We’d be making love once more
I’d be able to be present in the day
Knowing “an us” was in store

Incomplete and Happy

It’s wonderful to be incomplete
To not be done, be on a quest
Searching, changing, learning
This won’t be as good as it gets
There’s more in life to go for
Even if you’re happy with your lot
Have joy in days and nights
Appreciate all that you’ve got.
It’s good to want, dream big
Not feeling absence, seeking more
A solemn vow to find someone
To embrace, together life explore.
Fulfil your heart felt desires
To be you, be seen, be loved
In time to find an intimate one
Who is all others placed above
Until her hand I find, with faith
There’s joy in every forward step
Incomplete and happy,
I just haven’t found her yet.

Echoes of Intimate Us

Bonded, bound.
To those blue eyes
Secret soul I found
Ultimate loving prize

On a path to joy
But took a turn away
In one step hopes destroy
Lamentable sad day

Haunting azure glow
Echoes of intimate us
A love I will always know
Now reduced to dust

Room to Let

Mind ticking over
Without focused care
Thought jumps to thought
Frantic, erratic, nothing there
There’s a hole far inside
Your mental space vacancy
Thinking once used for you and I
Means heart and head lie empty
It seems even when apart
You resided deep within
A modelled version of you
Where I knew what was happening
A room where I always had a view
So when we said no more
You left me twice, once for real, then
You vacated my internal penthouse floor
I’ve mentally bounced around
As I care take your room
Lonely, with a constant sense
You’ll be back soon.

But you never will.

Tears in my Eyes

A pain at my centre
Tears in my eyes
An ache for emotion
All thoughts I despise
Stuck in the moment
When I’m sat with you
You broken in pain
Because, we are through.
The love in between us
Grown ever-so fast
Was real and gave hope
Of a bond, built to last
But the differences
Rose from within to without
Proving no future
Decided, no doubt.
Still emotional tethers
Connect you and I
Hence the pain I am feeling
And the tears in my eyes.

Your Absence

Silence in your absence
No messages to make the day seem sweet
No plans with friends, dates out together
No secret romantic late night meet.
Feelings still active, heart still engaged
Daydreaming about you, wondering how you are
Wanting to make sure you are happy, protected
But unable to contact you, distant, apart.
Can’t tell you about my day, how it went
Can’t share my successes, fears or how I feel
Can’t plan for our future, can’t see a way through
With no witness, no partner, life looses its appeal.
There is no one to protect, no goal for my love
You’re not at my side, my hand has no pair
Existence is loneliness, melancholy, solitude
You’re not here, worst of all I know you’re not there.

I Choose to Leave

It’s not as it was
Stoic silent stance
I’m hurt and worried
Theres no second chance
To make good the bad
Words you said in rage
That hit at my heart
Can I turn the page?
Keep on writing
This tale of two in love
When one is so unkind
Sorry is not enough
The pattern revealed
Repeats for all time
A give and take divide
No one shines
You don’t love me
In a way that I’d like
I can’t make you happy
Try as I might
You go find yourself
I’ll my hope retrieve
I chose to love you
Now I choose to leave

Don’t Leave Me

Say it
Tell me you do
Don’t leave me like this
I’ve said it to you
Say you love me
This has all been a dream
And on waking
Stop the pain extreme
I cannot cope
There is no way
For me to repair
After this torrid day
You’ve rocked me
You’ve sprung a trap
Said you need an out
Because of the gap
Between you and I
How I am and what you need
You’ve made a choice
But it’s not agreed
Just say you do
Or even that you might
Don’t end all this
When happiness was in sight

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