Battles of the Exes

Battle of the exes
Fight to the end
Final landed blow
No longer a friend
No longer civil
Trying to lay blame
Wherever they will
To avoid the shame
Of a bonding fail
That might be due
To their actions
Don’t continue
To hit out at me
When I gain zero
Can’t fix this mess
Neither of us heroes
Neither of us evil
We just tried and fell
Fell short of the goal
But no need for hell
In trying to point fingers
To assess exact whys
Dragging us to negatives
Make us each other despise
Stop this tirade
Just rest and calm
Move to be still again
Don’t attack or self harm
We’ve both learned
Both added to heart and mind
Repair and heal
You will another find

Melancholy’s Veil

She’s stands alone near tube train rail
Forlorn and low, under melancholy’s veil
Her eyes are dark, devoid of light
Her heart a shadow black as night
Whomever she has lost or left
Her soul was torn, her hope bereft
A broken woman, sad and meek
Lacking the will to live, too weak
To raise her head or meet your eye
She shrinks from life and wonders why
Her path became so overgrown
To force her down, all on her own
With thorns and ghosts and things to fear
No way out, and no one near
Her footing lose, no way to climb
No meaning, no plan, no positive sign
The tube arrives and on she steps
An empty shell since she left her ex.

Echoes of Intimate Us

Bonded, bound.
To those blue eyes
Secret soul I found
Ultimate loving prize

On a path to joy
But took a turn away
In one step hopes destroy
Lamentable sad day

Haunting azure glow
Echoes of intimate us
A love I will always know
Now reduced to dust

Tears in my Eyes

A pain at my centre
Tears in my eyes
An ache for emotion
All thoughts I despise
Stuck in the moment
When I’m sat with you
You broken in pain
Because, we are through.
The love in between us
Grown ever-so fast
Was real and gave hope
Of a bond, built to last
But the differences
Rose from within to without
Proving no future
Decided, no doubt.
Still emotional tethers
Connect you and I
Hence the pain I am feeling
And the tears in my eyes.

Your Absence

Silence in your absence
No messages to make the day seem sweet
No plans with friends, dates out together
No secret romantic late night meet.
Feelings still active, heart still engaged
Daydreaming about you, wondering how you are
Wanting to make sure you are happy, protected
But unable to contact you, distant, apart.
Can’t tell you about my day, how it went
Can’t share my successes, fears or how I feel
Can’t plan for our future, can’t see a way through
With no witness, no partner, life looses its appeal.
There is no one to protect, no goal for my love
You’re not at my side, my hand has no pair
Existence is loneliness, melancholy, solitude
You’re not here, worst of all I know you’re not there.

Relationship Wrecked

Wretched conflict
You should have
But you couldn’t
You were too swept up in being you to realise
That you shouldn’t
Have said what you said
Meant what you did
I’d have been better off running
I wish that I’d hid
This news that would hurt you
I tried to protect
Now it’s wretched conflict
Our relationship wrecked

The End of Your World

You will rue this day
Your time has been called
She’s started a fight
The end of your world
She’s said things in anger
That cannot be unsaid
Words like “we’re done
Now reside in your head
She’s questioned your love
Labelled you liar and worse
So now regardless of a make up
Your bond now holds the curse
Of questionable foundation
Twists in the honest base
That will sap all efforts to build
An insipid disease laying waste
To the pillars of beauty
The care you’d overseen
The warmth in your coupling
How together you’d been
Your hurt and your anguish
Corrode the heart at your core
She’s called time on your hope
All promise is lost, “us” is no more

Falling

The crash
Falling
Knocked off balance
Unforeseen

From hidden spot
Corner concealed
Has come a hammer blow
And I’m forced to yield

She’s said we are done
She says “you don’t have time”
To have her in my life
Time enough to make her mine

Hours of texting
Round and round
Now she’s said fuck off
And gone to ground

Heart ripped
Mind a mess
Cannot think
Can’t see what’s best

Don’t want to give up
Do feel what I’ve felt
But should I wait
For this ice age to melt?

There’s rage and fire
Hate and upset
She’s hurting like me
This cannot end, not yet

Falling end over end
Out of control
Don’t know what to do
To make her feel whole

Wretched Anxiety

Brain misfiring
I’m overwhelmed today
Well laid, patterned, plans
Have all gone astray.
Blame me, be unkind
Anxious attack on self
Clawingly undermined
Debilitated mental health.
In this repeated loop,
Very few can find,
Me, let alone a route
To escape an erratic mind.
Unstable, this is why
Why I’m left alone
Who would take this?
This wretched human home

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