Out of the Rat Race

I’m out of the rat race
Out of the fight
To get into work
Get home at night
The push on the platform
The squeeze, holding a rail
The heat in the summer
Groans when services fail
Seated, sleeping commuters
People, for others, making way
The books they are reading
New faces each day
I’m out of the rat race
Out of the fight
I’m already missing it
Escape as I might

Black Dog Calls

Cornered, trapped
Black dog calls
Melancholy
Towering walls
Lift descends
Bottom of the well
Sinking stomach
Feeling unwell
Lack of grip
No steps to take
Fallen down
Laid low, a fake
The masquerade
Of muddling through
Slips and breaks
Exposing you
Not good enough
Not happy or glad
Loathing of self
Bereft and sad
An anxious mind
Crushes all hope
Poisoned heart
With no antidote
Numbed from joy
Immersed in pain
Doused in dark
In tears again
The black dog calls
I sit alone
Surviving hurt
All on my own

Together Down River

A day afloat
Creating happy waves
Aboard a narrowboat
And as the dull light fades
A cosy fire, warm room
She prepares to go out
We are leaving soon
A couple in no doubt
That here is harmony
Between these two
Without words many
Love is in what they do
Comfort in small gains
Talking so as to grow
Therapy airing old pains
Sharing so as to better know
Themselves and each other
Aware of attachment style
Their secure base uncovered
Together down river for a very long while

Relationship Wrecked

Wretched conflict
You should have
But you couldn’t
You were too swept up in being you to realise
That you shouldn’t
Have said what you said
Meant what you did
I’d have been better off running
I wish that I’d hid
This news that would hurt you
I tried to protect
Now it’s wretched conflict
Our relationship wrecked

A Simple Life

Emergent start to a new life
A simple life with all you need
Nothing more required
Now judged by mood and deed
Appreciating basics sated
Free from a consumer’s greed
No more exists in life
To re-shackle me now I’m freed

The End of Your World

You will rue this day
Your time has been called
She’s started a fight
The end of your world
She’s said things in anger
That cannot be unsaid
Words like “we’re done
Now reside in your head
She’s questioned your love
Labelled you liar and worse
So now regardless of a make up
Your bond now holds the curse
Of questionable foundation
Twists in the honest base
That will sap all efforts to build
An insipid disease laying waste
To the pillars of beauty
The care you’d overseen
The warmth in your coupling
How together you’d been
Your hurt and your anguish
Corrode the heart at your core
She’s called time on your hope
All promise is lost, “us” is no more

Lucky

He’s got people
To look out for
Purpose.
He’s got loves
Who furnish him with love
Belonging.
He’s got peace
In between the storms of life
Contentment.
He’s got everything
He needs to be happy
Lucky.

Falling

The crash
Falling
Knocked off balance
Unforeseen

From hidden spot
Corner concealed
Has come a hammer blow
And I’m forced to yield

She’s said we are done
She says “you don’t have time”
To have her in my life
Time enough to make her mine

Hours of texting
Round and round
Now she’s said fuck off
And gone to ground

Heart ripped
Mind a mess
Cannot think
Can’t see what’s best

Don’t want to give up
Do feel what I’ve felt
But should I wait
For this ice age to melt?

There’s rage and fire
Hate and upset
She’s hurting like me
This cannot end, not yet

Falling end over end
Out of control
Don’t know what to do
To make her feel whole

Believe

Believe
With trust comes happiness
If trust is rewarded with loyalty
Believe in those close to you
Invest love and respect in them
Communicate difficulties
Make good the poor patterns of the past
Hold hands intimately and give
Let go the learned behaviour
Forget distrust for the trusted
Accept that pain may follow
But to trust is to connect
Connecting leading to belonging
Community, family, love
Believe

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